Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MAY 14 - 20, 2001
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ENTERTAINMENT
Bush Pardons "Survivor" Producer for Reenacting Some Scenes for TV
President admits his press conferences are
also reenactments.
 
FALL SCHEDULE HIGHLIGHTS

Starvation Island
– An island with no food provides the backdrop and dilemma for a dozen attractive, scantily-clad singles on ABC.

The Big Thirst – Lots of salty things to eat, but nothing to drink is the hook on this poorly-thought-out entry from NBC sponsored by Coke!

Hell House – On Fox, ten adults from widely different backgrounds are locked in a large house with no bathrooms. Each hopes to win twenty million dollars.

 
LAW
Study: Many Put to Death
Were Innocent

But solid majority were “probably guilty.”
Ruling in "3 Stooges" Case
Opens Door for Others

Andy Warhol estate sued by Campbell's.
 
RUMSFELD SAYS NUCLEAR ATTACK CODE SAFE WITH HIM
“Delta, tango, delta, one, one, red, three, delta — just kidding,” he cracks.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
After 30 Years, U.S. Declares
Victory in War on Cancer

Also claims victories in War on Drugs, War on Poverty.
INTERNET
Pillster Allows Members to
Swap Prescriptions Online

Doctors are furious.
White House Hacks Teen’s Web Site
Maryland youth’s personal home page down for several hours.
 
LIFESTYLE
 Smith & Wesson to Make
"Smart" Gun

Weapon will only fire in self-defense.
HEAVY RAINS SHORTEN NUDIST CONVENTION
A convention-goer waits for his bus home.

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