| PEOPLE |
 |
 |
ANOTHER
HONOR FOR JACKSON
Pop star is inducted
into the Freaky Pedophiles Hall of Fame. |
|
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
TV Movie in the Works
on the
Election
Elvira to play Katherine Harris. |
|
Movie Industry Girds for Season of
Self-Congratulation
Celebrities praise, thank one another
during multiple tributes
in coming months. |
|
Caesar's Palace Expanding in
Vegas
Will add vomitorium in time for next
summer. |
| |
| GOSSIP |
|
Santa Claus Outed
by Elves
And there is no Mrs. Claus. |
| |
| BOOKS |
|
"Dummies Books for
Dummies" Released
Large-print paperback makes simple
explanations even simpler. |
|
| SPORTS |
|
A-Rod Signs 10-Year Deal With
Rangers for Just $2.52
Didn’t notice decimal point;
smallest contract in baseball history. |
|
Athletic Department Buys
University of Oklahoma
Chancellor will report to football coach. |
| |
|
| ALSO
IN THE NEWS |
 |
FLORIDA
ORDERS NEW VOTING
MACHINES |
|
|
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
Last week, in reviewing the Supreme
Court decision to halt the recount of
ballots in Florida, we mistakenly
referred to Chief Justice Rehnquist as a
"puritanical pain in the ass whose
decision-making abilities are clouded by
a longtime addiction to powerful
prescription painkillers." What we
should have said is that the Chief
Justice receives many of the painkillers
for free, from drug companies, and
doesn’t always obtain them through a
prescription. We apologize for any
confusion this may have caused. |
|
