| ELECTION 2000 |
| |
 BUCHANAN
GETS BIG ENDORSEMENT
Pat Buchanan
leaves a meeting with the
militant white supremacist group
Posse Comitatus after that group
announced it would endorse him
for President. "I don't
care if I'm hurting
Bush," Buchanan told
reporters. |
|
 |
Future Foreign Ambassadors Making
Large Campaign Contributions
Dem, GOP hopefuls demonstrate
knowledge of foreign affairs with cash,
checks. |
|
Perot Pondering Last-Minute Run
Will decide "sometime in early
November." |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
99 Cents Stores Fold
Cite slowing economy and stiff
competition from 98 Cents Store chain. |
|
Consensus
on the Street: Pokemon Cards
Overvalued
Pre-Columbian art recommended as
hedge. |
| |
| SHOW BUSINESS |
|
Totally Unknown Actor Mobbed
By Time Travelers
"I guess I'll be famous
someday," Carl Witherspoon gushes.
|
|
"You Bet
Your Hand" a
Hit in Saudi Arabia
Show drawing 99.99 % of audience.
|
| |
|
 Jim Carrey to Headline
Stephen King Biopic
Comic actor ready for
"role of a lifetime."
(right, Jim Carrey
does his best Stephen King
impression for photographers)
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Latest Theory Places Universe at
Center of Huge Ballroom
Explains spinning, planetary
movement, but little else. |
|
Square Peg Fits Into Round Hole
Engineering breakthrough. Jubilant
scientists use "blunt" force to
achieve unexpected result. |
|
Genetically-Altered Salmon
Swim Downstream
Debone themselves. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Nation's Kids Fatter,
Smarter
All that sitting in front of TV,
computer producing generation of obese
geniuses. |
|
Tobacco Risk in Humans May
Not Apply to Rats
More studies needed before
researchers can determine if rats should
smoke. |
| |
| |
PIEDMONT-HEFFERNAN
DISASTER |
LATEST
DEVELOPMENTS:
- Heffernan District
Chief clashes with
Piedmont Council over
clean-up efforts; shots
fired.
- Huge meteor theory
gaining favor.
- Nighttime "glow"
helping to light streets.
- Long-awaited rescue
ship arrives, sinks.
|
|
|
|
| |
| ART |
|
Robot That Paints Like a Master
Goes into Mass Production
Should replace most artists by
2010. |
|
