| PEOPLE |
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 Bannon
Sentenced to 4 Months in Prison,
Fine of $6,500
And a complete makeover. |
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| POLITICS |
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Dems Fear They Peaked Too Soon
Worry some voters watching Fox News again. |
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| BUSINESS |
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 Elon Musk Adds Perfume
to His Product Line
After spacecraft, electric cars, flame
throwers, tunnel-boring machines and
hot pants, he says he'd next like to
either mine asteroids or develop a
glow-in-the-dark yo-yo. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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McDonald's to Offer
Happy Meals for Adults
Adult toys such as dildos, ben wa
balls, cock rings and butt plugs to
be tested in select markets. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
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 World's Most
Advanced Humanoid Greets
Visitors at Dubai's Museum of
the Future
Overqualified for the job, it
whines and complains in over
140 different languages |
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| SCIENCE |
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Discovery of Prehistoric
Neanderthal Family Reveals
They Were Just Like Us
Crude slobs with a poor diet. |
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 Webb Telescope
Captures Universe In Its Infancy
Like an infant, there's lots of gas and stuff. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Task Force Recommends Screening
Kids 8 and Older for Anxiety
Suggests children be subjected to
unannounced exams, stress tests,
sensory deprivation, isolation
experiments – the works –
to look for signs of anxiety. |
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