Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 21 - 27, 2022
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PEOPLE
Report: Eric Trump Pleads the Fifth 500 Times in His Deposition
Breaks record of 150, held by Vito Genovese.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Study: More Attractive People
Have Stronger Immune Systems

Finding prompts dropping of mask requirement at this year's Oscars (but not at the technical awards ceremony).
 
BUSINESS
Trump's Longtime Accountant Quits
Desperate, he sends Eric to barber shops to find a replacement.
Study: Callers to Customer
Service Only Care About
“Perceived Humanness”

Say recordings, chatbots just fine “if they really like me.”
Report: Mark Zuckerberg Wants All Meta Employees Called “Metamates”
Wants them all to study metaphysics, drink Metamucil.
SCIENCE
Trust in Scientists Drops Since
Pandemic Began, Especially
Among Republicans

Only doctors Republicans trust: Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil.
World's Most Precise Atomic Clock, Accurate to Within One Second Every 300 Million Years, Confirms Einstein's Theory of Relativity
Although Einstein was chronically late.
Volunteers Spend Weeks in Simulated Martian Environment in Utah
Utah chosen because, like Mars, it's dry, barren, there's nothing to do there.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Canada: Psychiatrists Can
Now Give Patients a Free
Pass to National Parks

Show proof you're crazy and admission is free.

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