| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Elon Musk Releases
Video of Monkey With Brain Implant Playing Pong
Next up: monkey with brain implant
playing Pong against human with brain
implant. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Study: Music Can Be as Addictive
as Fast Food, Money, Alcohol
Subjects of previous studies. |
| |
| POLL |
|
55% of Republicans Believe Jan. 6
Insurrection Carried Out by Left-Wing
Agitators Trying to Make Trump Look Bad
And they succeeded. |
| |
| FOOD |
|
 New Pasta Shape Unveiled
First new pasta shape in 800 years. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Matt Gaetz did which of the following? |
| A ) | Invited a
Holocaust denier to attend the State of the Union. |
| B ) | Suggested we
hunt down antifa like Middle Eastern terrorists. |
| C ) | Became the
lone vote in Congress against an
anti-human trafficking bill. |
| D ) | All of the
above. |
| Hint: he also showed off nude
pictures of young girls to shocked colleagues
on the floors of Congress. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 5,700-Year-Old
Chewing Gum Still Contains Human DNA
From Prehistoric Woman
It was found near a couple of
Cro-Magnon trading cards. |
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