Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 10 - 16, 2020
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TECHNOLOGY
Singapore: Travelers Must Wear Electronic Tags to Enforce Quarantine
Leave the perimeter and a painful shock reminds you to turn around and return.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Average Household
Annually Has 217 Arguments
Over Doing Dishes

With, on average, 143 broken dishes.
Study: Universal Mask Use Could Cut Coronavirus Deaths by 67%
But would kill the lipstick industry.
Due to Coronavirus, U.S. Mint Reports Severe Coin Shortage
“Brother, can you spare a dime?” asks new public service announcement.
 
EDUCATION
Study Suggests If You Want Better Grades Find Smarter Friends
And ask them to take the SAT for you.
 
SPORTS
Lack of Fans Means Players' Expletives Heard Quite Easily on TV
Ratings higher among 8-12 demographic.
How many Republican candidates currently running for public office endorse QAnon, a group that believes there is a deep state within the government that runs child sex rings, worships Satan, and is plotting to overthrow President Trump?
   A )    0
   B )    1
   C )    2
   D )   14
Hint: remember moderate Republicans?
 
TRENDS
Study: 3 in 4 Parents "Already Know" What Their Kids Will Be When They Grow Up
Tenants.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
South Dakota Welcomes 250,000 Bikers
And their 250,000 old ladies.

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