Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 17 - 23. 2020
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NEW PRODUCTS
KFC Crocs!
If crocs weren't bad enough, how about crocs that look like a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? If you like to wear the box after a trip to KFC, these uniquely uncomfortable shoes are for you. $99.95, at Fast Food Fashion.
 
TRENDS
Survey: Many Parents Give Their Babies Outlandish Names to
Stand Out on Social Media

Like Hashtag Rabinowitz.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
1 in 3 Workers Run Out of
Money Before Payday, Even
Those Earning Over $100,000

Some billionaires struggle to keep up with payments on their yachts.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Announces Many
New Rules for 2020

Among them: no swearing, no spitting, no scratching — if you know you're on camera.
FEATURE
Who said Trump's tweets “make it impossible for me to do my job”?
A )First Lady Melania Trump
B )Twitter's chief censor
C )Any fact checker
D )Attorney General William Barr
E )Satan
Hint: it's usually the last choice, but then we thought of Satan.
 
EDUCATION
Degree in Marijuana Will be Offered by Colorado State University
For those who want to go further, they can pursue a doctorate in hash.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Bezos Buys L.A. Mansion for Record $165 Million
Will include 60,000 square foot Amazon fulfillment center in basement.

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