| PEOPLE |
 |
 After Turbulent
Tenure as Trump's Attorney General,
Jeff Sessions Announces Senate Run
in Alabama
If elected and Trump impeached,
he says he will recuse himself. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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 CGI-Created
James Dean Will Star in Upcoming Film
Hologram Without a Cause opens next June. |
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| PUBLISHING |
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Book: After Visiting Arlington
National Cemetery, Don Jr.
Compares His Family's Sacrifice
to Slain American Soldiers
Wonders why there's no monument honoring
The Unknown Trump. |
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Book: Anonymous Describes
Trump “Like a 12-Year-Old
in an Air Traffic Control Tower”
“Suffering from ADD and Alzheimer's, high
out of his mind on fourteen Diet Cokes.” |
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| SCIENCE |
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Scientists Warn: Insect
Populations Disappearing
At Alarming Rate
Suggest we stop eating them, go back to meat. |
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 Jeff Bezos
Unveils Mockup of His Blue Moon Lander
Can accommodate up to eight billionaires, or
four billionaires and their plus ones. |
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| New Measurements:
Universe Spherical, and if You
Travelled Far Enough in One
Direction You'd End |
 Up Back
Where You Started
Or, you could stay put, save yourself
the trouble. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study Warns: Daylight
Saving Time Has Long-
Term Impact on Brain
Especially for those who literally
spring forward, fall back. |
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