Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 4 - 10, 2019
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TECHNOLOGY
  Japan: Restaurant Opens
Featuring Robot Servers

No matter how obnoxious you are, they're programmed not to spit in your food.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Sarah Sanders: God “Wanted Donald Trump to Become President”
And He also wanted Vladimir Putin to be president of Russia.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
The First Home Gene-Editing Kit!
Want a new kid? Another dog? A two-headed turtle? Now it's as easy as mac 'n' cheese, with everything you need to create God-knows-what in your very own laboratory. $120, at Frank N. Stein and Kids 'R' Us.
 
SPORTS
Trump: Wouldn't Want Son
To Play Football

Well, maybe Eric.
Who said it:
“You're supposed to say things are great. When he asks you, 'How are things?' you're not supposed to complain.”
A )From orientation instructions for Genghis Khan's harem.
B )Hermann Goring regarding how to speak to You-Know-Who.
C )Author of Mar-a-Lago: Inside the Gates of Power at Donald Trump's Presidential Palace.
Hint: for workers who are illegal immigrants, there's a Spanish translation.
 
RELIGION
Pope Francis Warns Against “Inflated Expectations” for Global Church Summit on Child Sex Abuse
Including expectation that Catholic Church would come out clearly against it.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Offensive College Yearbook Photo Puts Pressure on Virginia's Democratic Governor to Resign
Or at least switch parties.

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