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Ironic Times

 NO. 952 “Expect the Ironic” DEC 31, 2018 - JAN 6, 2019 

Dec 24
Jan 7
 
  TRUMP MAKES SURPRISE
VISIT TO IRAQ

Brings Melania as human shield.
 
WORLD NEWS
Putin Reveals Russia Has
Deployed an Invulnerable
Hypersonic Missile System

Trump calls to congratulate him.
Saudi King Orders Shakeup
of Cabinet

Literally.
 
U. S. NEWS
Trump Claims Those Affected by Shutdown Mostly Democrats
And, if they weren't, they are now.
Trump Administration Points to Strong Holiday Sales to Bolster Narrative of Good Times
Particularly strong: domestic sales of military assault rifles.
Trump Signs What Many Notice is Blank Piece of Paper Before Shutdown
It authorizes nobody to do anything about anything.
(Our stellar circle of psychics, seers, and soothsayers tells us what to look for in the new year.)
Kandu: “For the first time Earth will be visited by extraterrestrials, but a tweet about Maxine Waters will knock it off the front page.”
Madame Blavinsky: “The special counsel's report will reveal Donald Trump, Don Jr, Jared Kushner, and every other member of the Trump campaign repeatedly, but totally by accident, dialed wrong numbers and unknowingly spoke with Russian operatives.”
Cassandra: “Man-made climate change will produce its first sharknado, finally convincing skeptics.”
Nostradamus: “The Russian bear and the American eagle will let the giant Turkey eat the Kurds.”
Tiresias: “The Supreme Court, in a 9-0 ruling, will order the release of the pee tape.”
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