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TRUMP MAKES SURPRISE
VISIT TO IRAQ
Brings Melania as human shield. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Putin Reveals Russia Has
Deployed an Invulnerable
Hypersonic Missile System
Trump calls to congratulate him. |
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Saudi King Orders Shakeup
of Cabinet
Literally. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Trump Claims Those Affected by
Shutdown Mostly Democrats
And, if they weren't, they are now. |
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Trump Administration Points
to Strong Holiday Sales to Bolster Narrative
of Good Times
Particularly strong: domestic sales of military
assault rifles. |
|
 Trump Signs
What Many Notice is Blank Piece of Paper
Before Shutdown
It authorizes nobody to do anything about anything. |
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|
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| (Our stellar circle of psychics, seers, and
soothsayers tells us what to look for in the new year.) |
|
 | Kandu: “For the
first time Earth will be visited by extraterrestrials, but a tweet
about Maxine Waters will knock it off the front page.” |
 | Madame Blavinsky:
“The special counsel's report will reveal Donald Trump,
Don Jr, Jared Kushner, and every other member of the Trump
campaign repeatedly, but totally by accident, dialed wrong numbers
and unknowingly spoke with Russian operatives.” |
 | Cassandra:
“Man-made climate change will produce its first sharknado,
finally convincing skeptics.” |
 | Nostradamus:
“The Russian bear and the American eagle will let the
giant Turkey eat the Kurds.” |
 | Tiresias:
“The Supreme Court, in a 9-0 ruling, will order the
release of the pee tape.” |
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