Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 28 - JUN 3, 2018
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PEOPLE
Jared Kushner, After Long Session With Mueller, Gets Security Clearance Restored
He can now participate in all top secret White House meetings, while wearing a wire.
Giuliani: “Truth is Relative, They
Might Have a Different Version
Of the Truth Than We Do”

“Mueller hears 'laurel,' we hear 'witch hunt.'”
Trump Pardons Jack Johnson
But won't pardon Barack Obama.
 
BUSINESS
Apple Teams Up With Volkswagen To Build Driverless Car
Basically, an iPhone that seats four and gets 35 miles per gallon.
New Policy at Starbucks: People Can Sit, Use Restroom, Without Paying for Anything
Move instantly solves nationwide homeless crisis.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Scientists Develop Robotic System Able to Grow Human Organs
Free two-day delivery with Amazon Prime.
 
Mussels In Waters Off Seattle Test Positive For Opioids
Public advised not to operate heavy machinery after eating mussels.
 
SCIENCE
Ninth Planet Discovered
Many suggest calling it Pluto, to save money.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA's Pruitt Bars Reporters From Public Event on Toxic Chemicals in Drinking Water
Where he discussed his secret plan to poison reporters with toxic drinking water.
Internal White House Memo: “Ignore” Federal Climate Research
And wildfires, droughts, flooding, monster tornadoes, Category 6 hurricanes.

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