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Ironic Times

 NO. 905 “Expect the Ironic” FEBRUARY 5 - 11, 2018 

Jan 29
Feb 12
 
  STATE OF THE UNION: TRUMP PROMISES BOLD NEW PLAN TO REPAIR NATION'S BRIDGES, HIGHWAYS, TUNNELS
And make Mexico pay for it.
 
WORLD NEWS
Canada Makes Its National Anthem Gender Neutral
Totally new LGBTQ-friendly national anthem planned for 2019.
Winter Olympics Will Feature Combined North, South Korean Hockey Teams
As a gesture of friendship, they exhange teeth.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
DHS Releases Video Simulation Drills for Active School Shooters
Schools, shooters alike can now prepare for upcoming massacre.
U. S. NEWS
Trump Decides Not to Impose Additional Sanctions on Russia
May have to live there some day.
Another Attempt to Intercept a Ballistic Missile Failed in Hawaii
Hawaiians, already jittery, consider moving to Cleveland.
 
REMINDER
  Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy silence.
 
Head of CDC Resigns After
Revelation She Bought Tobacco
Stock While in Office

And then, when stock soared, she handed out cigars.
Study: Americans Staying Home More, Saving Energy
Boarding up windows, shutting off gas, electricity, eating cat food.
 
POLITICS
Trump: My State of the Union Address Had Largest Viewing Audience Ever
When you include the Russians.
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