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Ironic Times

 NO. 878 “Expect the Ironic” JUL 31 - AUG 6, 2017 

Jul 24
Aug 7
NEW CHIEF OF STAFF GEN. KELLY REVEALS PLAN TO BRING ORDER TO CHAOTIC WHITE HOUSE
“Seven AM roll call, push-ups, hospital corners, lights out at 9PM.”
 
WORLD NEWS
Putin Orders U.S. Cut 755
Embassy Staff

Including spies, spies' assistants, and doorman.
Analysts: North Korea Could Have Nuclear-Tipped ICBM in Six Months
Since making assessment, analysts have moved from Hawaii to southern Chile.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Trump Gives Inspiring Speech to Boy Scout Jamboree
Same one he delivered two years ago at Friars Club Roast.
U. S. NEWS
President Criticized for
Deflecting Attention From
His Own Agenda

He came to Washington to insult Rosie O'Donnell.
Energy Secretary Perry
Fooled by Prank Call From
“Jerky Boys of Russia”

Spent forty-five minutes giving away atomic secrets.
 
REMINDER
  Beware cults of personality disorder.
 
Report: In the United States a
Gun is Stolen Every Two Minutes

At least one in the time it takes to read this page.
Kid Rock Announces His Interest in Running for the Senate in Michigan
As a moderate Republican.
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