Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 19 - 25, 2017
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MISCELLANEOUS
Ted Nugent Says He's Cutting Out All Angry Political Rants
From now on he'll just sit and stew and let it build up inside.
 
TECHNOLOGY
More Complaints About Brutal Working Conditions at Apple's Foxconn Factory
And lack of a USB port on new iPads.
 
SPORTS
Fight Set Between MMA Champ Conor McGregor and Boxing Champ Floyd Mayweather
In a prelim, arm wrestling champ faces off against crossword puzzle-solving champ.
FEATURE
Translation of the Week
Attorney General Jeff Sessions, testifying in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee: “I'm not able to discuss with you, or confirm or deny, the nature of private conversations that I may have had with the president.”
 Correct translation:
A )Surely you don't expect me to answer that question.
B )It's none of your business.
C )Fuck you.
Hint: a.k.a. engage in sexual intercourse
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Dennis Rodman Presents North Korean Official With Trump's Art of the Deal
In return, receives copy of Kim Jong-un's book, Art of Killing Your Relatives.

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