Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 19 - 25, 2017
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PEOPLE
Obama Meets World's Most Interesting Man
“He knew who I was!” squeals an excited ex-President.
 
MEDIA
Comey's Testimony Draws 20 Million Daytime Viewers
Holds its own against “Ellen.”
 
BUSINESS
Fox News Drops “Fair and Balanced” Slogan After Years of Mockery
It's now “The President's Tweets Start Here.”
Delta Airlines Pulls Funding for NY Production of “Julius Caesar” Because Lead Actor Looks Too Much Like Trump
And guy playing Brutus looks too much like Rod Rosenstein.
Amazon Buys Whole Foods for $13.7 Billion
Promising two-day delivery of artisanal arugula.
SCIENCE
Human Head Transplant Surgeon Claims “Breakthrough” in Rat Experiment
Tells reporters man who received rat's head lived two weeks
Latest Theory: Universe May Be Conscious, Self-Aware Entity
And worried about complexion, weight.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Power Leads to
Brain Damage

Absolute power leads to some hilarious tweets.
 
FITNESS
Iran Bans Zumba as Pornographic
Cleric explains, “I can't describe pornography, but I know it when I see it.“
 
ENVIRONMENT
Trump Tells Mayor of Virginia
Island Threatened by Sea Rise
Not to Worry

“Move to a higher floor,” he advises.

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