Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 17 - 23, 2017
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PEOPLE
Bernie Sanders Introduces Ben & Jerry's Newest Flavor
While standing in tub of “Eat the Rich Raspberry.”
Pence Reveals He Never
Dines Alone With Any
Woman Not His Wife

Won't perform Heimlich maneuver on any woman not his wife.
 
MEDIA
Fox News: Bill O'Reilly
Taking a Vacation

Calls to Nevada's Bunny Ranch have been unreturned.
 
BUSINESS
Trump's Modeling Agency
Shutting Down

Business couldn't survive without his day-to-day hands-on supervision.
Trump Keeps Campaign Promise to Destroy Goldman Sachs
By putting all their top executives in his Cabinet.
TRAVEL
United Apologizes for
Beating, Dragging Man
Off Overbooked Flight

But points out that for an extra $10 he could have purchased “beat up someone else“ insurance and none of this would have happened.
 
SCIENCE
Scientists Identify Parts of Brain Involved in Dreaming
Say it resembles movie studio with all your friends, relatives under lifetime contract.
Amazon's Jeff Bezos Hopes to Be First to Commercialize Space Travel
And offer free, two-day delivery for any payload under 50 pounds.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Russian Engineers Build Humanoid That Can Fire Guns
And pass a background check.

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