| PEOPLE |
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 Melania Trump
Featured on Cover of Mexican Edition of Vanity
Fair
First Lady describes her busy schedule taking
care of Barron while simultaneously advising
her husband on foreign and domestic policy. |
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Pope Francis Will “Wait
And See” Before Forming Opinion of
Trump
Says he tries not to “judge people
by their hair.” |
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| PUBLISHING |
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Orwell's 1984 Soars to Top of
Best-Seller List
Some buyers committing it to memory,
“just in case.” |
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| BUSINESS |
|
 City of
Floating Islands in South Pacific Proposed
Able to survive rising sea levels, residents
will live in luxury while fighting off
flotillas of desperate survivors fleeing
flooded homelands. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
 Atomic
Scientists Set Doomsday Clock to Two and a Half
Minutes Before Midnight
And turn off snooze alarm. |
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 Unveiled:
Remotely Controlled Genetically Modified
Dragonfly
Designed for clandestine spy operations,
or outrageous practical jokes. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Consumers Union: 9,000 Die Each Year
From Hospital-Acquired Infections
If you get sick, find a good shaman. |
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| QUOTE OF THE DAY |
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When Reminded That 8th
Amendment Prohibits Cruel
And Unusual Punishment,
Trump Has a Question
“The 8th Amendment to what?” |
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