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Ironic Times

 NO. 847 “Expect the Ironic” DEC 26 - JAN 1, 2016 

Dec 19
Jan 2
 
  MERRIAM-WEBSTER NAMES “SURREAL” WORD OF THE YEAR
Barely beats out “Yikes.”
 
U. S. NEWS
Trump Team Leaks Plan to Impose 5% Tariff on All Foreign Goods
Cost will be passed on to consumers; proceeds will pay for Trump family security, border wall, expanding nuclear arsenal.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
UN Abruptly Drops “Ambassador" Wonder Woman After Thousands Sign Petition Calling Her "Large-Breasted White Woman of Impossible Proportions, Scantily Clad in a Shimmery, Thigh-Baring Body Suit”
Exactly what had attracted UN to her in the first place.
 
(Our distinguished panel of psychics, prophets and prognosticators offer their predictions for the coming year.)
Kandu: “Dozens of highly respected artists will be rounded up, forced into buses and brought to Washington to perform at the inauguration.”
Madame Blavinsky: “An exchange of tweets between the president and Rosie O'Donnell will lead to the first use of nuclear weapons since World War II.”
Cassandra: “A time machine will be successfully demonstrated by the world's richest man, who made his fortune betting on the 1927 Dempsey-Tunney fight.”
Nostradamus: “The first contact with alien beings will be a big story back on their planet.”
Tiresias: “The Dow will rise, hemlines will drop, and Trump will order martial law.”
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