 RIVALS BURY HATCHET FOR ONE NIGHT
At annual Most Unpopular Persons Awards. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Obama Warmly Welcomed in Vietnam
Vietnamese offer to send troops if
we ever have another civil war. |
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South African President Zuma
Accused of Spendng $554,000
On 11 Cars for His Four Wives
“Happy wife, happy life,” he explains. |
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| REAL ESTATE |
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New York: Conversion of Old
Buildings to Million Dollar
Condos Driving Out Feral Cats
Sentiment growing to evict hedge fund
managers, Russian oligarchs from
buildings and return them to cats. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 Switzerland: World's
Longest Tunnel Unveiled
It will formally open with ceremonial
ribbon cutting by guest of honor, El
Chapo. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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VA Director Compares Wait
Times to Those at Disneyland
Congress orders investigation into wait
times at Disneyland. |
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Report: Pentagon Still Uses
8-Inch Floppy Disks to Coordinate Nuclear
Force Operations
According to their IT guy, Pops. |
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| REMINDER |
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Memorial Day is the day we remember
never to buy a mattress that is not on sale. |
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Mississippi Town Told to Desegregate
Schools 62 Years After Brown v. Board
of Education
Town blames delay on “excessive paperwork.” |
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Utah Lawmaker Proposes Mandatory
Porn Filters on All Computers in State
And firing squad for those caught masturbating. |
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| POLITICS |
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 Trump Calls Climate Change
“Chinese Hoax”
But has only praise for their “great wall.” |
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