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Ironic Times

 NO. 808 “Expect the Ironic” MAR 28 - APR 3, 2016 

Mar 21
Apr 4
 
  NATIONAL ENQUIRER: CRUZ CHEATED ON WIFE, HAD FIVE MISTRESSES
Shocking news puts him ahead of Trump in latest poll.
 
WORLD NEWS
Obama, in Cuba, Calls for More Freedom on Island
With tiny exception of Guantanamo.
Radovan Karadzic Convicted of Genocide by World Court
He still insists he was out drinking with buddies at the time.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Leading Vote- Getter for Name of UK's Newest Polar Research Vessel: “Boaty McBoatface”
It was submitted by Sir Edward McBoatface III.
U. S. NEWS
Supreme Court Now Appears
Hopelessly Split 4-4 on Most
Major Issues

Including lunch.
Pentagon Confirms We Have
Secret Base in Iraq, Which
We've Long Denied

It's near another secret base, which we're still denying.
 
REMINDER
  Vote for the hotter of two wives.
 
Clinton: If Elected, I'll Open
Area 51 Files to the Public

If not, “you'll never know how the pyramids got here.”
 
POLITICS
Poll: Trump's Unfavorable Number Among Women Jumps to 75%
Trump questions results, says poll must have been taken at “bad time of the month.”
Cruz Calls to “ Patrol and Secure” Muslim Neighborhoods
That prompts call to patrol and secure Canadian neighborhoods.
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