Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 8 - 14, 2016
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PEOPLE
Tuesday's NYSE Opening Bell Rung by Miss Piggy
Friday's NYSE closing bell rung by Oscar the Grouch.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
YouTube to Produce Original
Content for Own Channel

Already auditioning thousands of cats.
ESPN Will Broadcast in China
Ping Pong Channel still looking for cable home in U.S.
 
BUSINESS
With Low Fuel Prices, Airlines
Reap Record Profits

Passengers benefit by once again getting free peanuts.
Uber Providing Toys in Cars' Back Seats to Keep Drunks Occupied
Particularly drunk children.
Zica Auto Company Says It Will Change Its Name
Also the name of its best-selling model, the Virus.
SOCIAL MEDIA
Study: Time Wasted on Facebook
Could Be Costing Us Trillions in
Lost Productivity

Suggests switching to Twitter.
 
SCIENCE
Expert: By 2050, Humans Will Evolve to New Species and Become “Digitally Immortal”
When you start to age and forget things, you get an upgrade.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Millions of Obese Americans Actually “Quite Healthy”
And surprisingly light on their feet.
 
CORRECTION
 
We reported that, in describing her work at Goldman Sachs, Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi said she was “helping people to achieve the American dream.” In fact, she said she was “helping people who have achieved the American dream.” We regret any confusion caused by our mistake

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