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Ironic Times

 NO. 799 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 25 - 31, 2016 

Jan 18
Feb 1
 
 
  Shown: Secretary of State Kerry skiing to work.
 
WORLD NEWS
Cameron to Muslim Women:
Improve Your English or You
May Have to Leave UK

And extend your little finger when drinking tea.
Saudi Grand Mufti Bans Chess
And its gateway game, checkers.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
New Reconstructed Dinosaur Too
Big for New York's Museum of
Natural History
Museum will instead be moved inside dinosaur.
U. S. NEWS
Trump's Poll Numbers Improve
After he shoots someone in the middle of 5th Avenue.
Obama May Visit Cuba,
Meet With Castro

Hopes to complete his bucket list while still in office.
 
REMINDER
  It's not whether you win or lose, it's how your fantasy team did.
 
Postal Service Suspends
Saturday Operations Ahead
Of Blizzard

Blames “perfect storm” of snow, rain, gloom of night.
 
POLITICS
National Review Comes Out Strongly Against Trump
Finds his boorish, provocative fearmongering totally repellant, although it agrees with him.
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