Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPT 14 - 20, 2015
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TECHNOLOGY
Toyota to Start Selling Its Hydrogen-Powered Car in England
Each vehicle comes with disclaimer: “Turning ignition twice in short succession could result in vaporizing a city the size of Manchester.”
Apple Introduces Apple Watch Pro
Bigger face, can be hung on wall.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Kermit, on the Splits With Miss Piggy, Has New Girlfriend on Sesame Street
Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch to wed.
 
SPORTS
Brazil Says It Will Be Ready in Time for 2016 Olympics
Shown: swimmer tries out aquatic course in Rio.
FEATURE
A recovering economy and lower gas prices has led to more employed people with money to buy cars, causing:
A )More satisfaction with life.
B )More drunk drivers on the road.
C )More opportunities to text while driving.
D )More car crashes.
Hint: self-driving cars are on the way.
 
EDUCATION
Survey: American Adults
Get a D in Science

We're switching our major to English.
 
RELIGION
Pope Creates First "Fast-Track Annulments"
Available at drive-thru confessionals.

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   Copyright 2015 Ironic Times     
   Copyright 2015 Ironic Times