Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 10 - 16, 2015
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PEOPLE
Hillary Poses for Selfie With Kim Kardashian
Hoping to expand her appeal to women who wear tighter-fitting pantsuits.
Pope Invites Oprah to Vatican
Actually, he spoke to her assistant.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Pez Movie Planned
It's the only thing that hasn't been made into a movie.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA
Twitter Begins Deleting Stolen Jokes
Shuts down Milton Berle's account.
 
BUSINESS
Target Removes Gender-Specific
Toys From Its Shelves

GI Joe now GI Pat.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Chinese Distillers Under Investigation for Spiking Liquor With Viagra
Consumers told to call an ambulance if they get an erection lasting more than four hours and they're too drunk to drive themselves to a hospital.
SCIENCE
 
Giant Telescope Captures Stunning Image of Gas Cloud
Universe about to burp.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
FDA Approves First 3D-Printed Drug
FCC approves first 3D drug commercial.
Study: Eating Spicy Food
Can Extend Your Life

Could add another five-and-a-half years of indigestion.
Report: Coca-Cola Funds Scientists Who Shift Blame for Obesity Away From Bad Diets
Blame bad marriages, bad weather, bad moon rising.
 
ART
Paris: Van Gogh's Self-Portrait Moved From Musée d'Orsay
To more popular Musée d'Selfy (above).

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