Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 1 - 7, 2014
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
First Superman Comic Book Sells on eBay for $3.2 Million
Bought for ten cents in 1938, seller thought “it was time.”
 
NEW PRODUCTS
“No Phone” is Just That!
Looks like a smartphone, but it's really just a piece of plastic you can hold and talk to, as if it were a phone, and you had friends, and a life, and you weren't miserable. $19.95, at Desperation Hardware.
Already a Sensation, Knee Defender Has a Companion!
From the makers of Knee Defender comes Anti-Knee Defender, the only device that quickly and easily disarms Knee Defender, allowing you to fully recline your airline seat, while your Knee Defender keeps the guy in front of you upright. $21.95 (plus personal liability insurance, legal fees, bail), at For Shmucks Only.
FEATURE
What are these?
“All is Lost!” “I'm Begging!” “We Keep emailing!” “32 Hour Alert!” “ ALERT” “Sadly” “Listen Up!” “Sick of it!” “Deadline: 37 Hours” “Deadline Extended” “Furious” “We BEGGED You” “All Hope is Lost” “Important: Don't Delete”
A )Messages received from survivors of a shipwreck in the South Pacific.
B )Messages sent from an Arctic expedition, lost somewhere near the North Pole, running out of food.
C )Fundraising messages from politicians running in the midterm election in November.
Hint: If you don't send us money, we will not only lose the election, we’re all going to die!!
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New App Tracks a Product's Corporate Political Donations
Turns out all your basic necessities are made by people trying to kill you.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 ©  Copyright 2014 Ironic Times