Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUN 30 - JUL 6, 2014
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POLITICS
  Unveiled: Map of United States Based on Each State's Biggest Business
Its purpose: help GOP candidates find donors.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
California: Golden Gate Bridge
Suicide Barrier Approved

To pay for it, jumpers will be assessed $50 per attempt.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Whole Foods Fined for Overcharging, Deceptive Practices
Denies all wrongdoing, announces price increases.
 
SPORTS
World Cup: FIFA Suspends Uruguayan Star for Biting Opponent
Reject his offer to wear a muzzle.
FEATURE
After Governor Sam Brownback and his Republican State Legislature cut taxes for the rich in Kansas, their economy tanked, tax revenue fell off a cliff, and Moody's downgraded the state's bond rating. Brownback has blamed these events on:
  A ) Hurricanes.
  B ) UFOs.
  C ) Obama.
Hint: think: Marxist born in Africa.
 
TRAVEL
Survey: Passengers' Satisfaction Drops 41 Points When Their Baggage Lost
Drops even more when their plane crashes.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
“Free the Nipple” Movement Introduces the Tata Top
Feminists and non-feminists alike approve.

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