| PEOPLE |
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Kim Kardashian
Insures Her Finest Asset for $21 Million
But won't get a dime if something bad happens
to her head. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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GM Recalls 1,377,000 Vehicles for Sudden
Loss of Power Steering, Brakes, Airbag Function
Will fix airbags. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Consumer Confidence in Bitcoins Plunges
Smart money migrating to tulips. |
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Forest Lawn Opening Kiosks in
California Shopping Malls
For the convenience of those considering
murdering family members. |
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 Exxon CEO Sues to
Block Fracking Near His Ranch
Sues to have fracking approved everywhere else. |
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Swiss Bank Helped Rich Evade Taxes
Also, this winter in Switzerland, it snowed. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Voyager III Launched Into Deep
Space With Updated Recording
Adds rap, hip-hop, some Chuck Berry
“B” sides. |
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 20,000-Year-Old Mammoth
Discovered in Seattle During
Excavation for Apartment
Building
“Totally stoked,” consruction workers
who found it describe it as “awesome.” |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Obesity Rate for Young Children Drops
43% in Last Decade
Experts trace change to day 10 years ago when
Oreos “With 43% Less Fat” were introduced. |
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| CORRECTION |
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| A quote expressing confidence
in the ability of local forces to defeat the insurgency
after withdrawal of U.S. forces was wrongly attributed
to a top American general in Afghanistan. The quote
was from General Curtis LeMay, Commander of U.S.
forces in Vietnam. We apologize for any confusion
caused by our error. |
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