| PEOPLE |
 |
 Arnold
Schwarzenegger Mulls Challenge to Law
Preventing Him to Run for President
Known as the Don't Be Ridiculous law. |
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|
 Cheney Says He
Feared Terrorists Would Hack His Defibrillator, Kill
Him
Told his chauffeur to never drive near falafel stands. |
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 Michelle
Bachman: We're in God's End
Times
Offers herself as evidence. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Boeing Repeatedly Charged
Army for New Helicopter Parts,
Installed Old Ones
Parts “new to them,” explains company
spokesperson. |
|
 Bad News:
Shutdown Cost $24 Billion
Good news: sales of Dr. Seuss soared. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Oreo Cookies More
Addictive Than Cocaine
Next up: Oreos vs. Mallomars. |
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Survey: 10% More People Are Gay Than
Admit It, 10% Are More Biased Against
Gays Than Admit It
Most who are secretly gay, also secretly
biased against gays. |
| |
 New Skull
Suggests Homo Habilus, Homo Rudolfensis,
Homo Erectus Same Species
After DNA testing, Homo habilus, Homo
Rudolfensis owe Homo erectus millions
of years unpaid child support. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Binge-Drinking Gene Discovered
By coterie of binge-drinking scientists. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Sea Level Could Rise Three Feet by 2100, Climate Panel Finds
Panel urges panel's headquarters be raised four feet. |
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