Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 7 - 13, 2013
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TECHNOLOGY
“Lily Collins” 2013's Most Dangerous Search With Highest Likelihood of Virus
To those unfamiliar with Lily Collins, Google her.
Small Business Owners Say Bad Yelp Reviews Go to Top of Page Unless They Advertise on Yelp
Yelp replies advertising just insurance “in case something bad should happen, know what I mean?”
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Survey: Bible Belt Loves Porn More Than Cosmopolitan Areas
And damn proud of it.
U.S. Leads World With 716 Out of 100,000 People in Prison
We also lead world in prison novels.
Study: Service at Fast-Food
Drive-Thrus Eight Seconds
Slower Than Last Year

Making Americans eight seconds late to their cardiologist.
PEOPLE
Obama Tells GOP to “Knock It Off”
“Suck it up,” “cut to the chase,” and “shit or get off the pot.”
 
EDUCATION
1 in 7 Borrowers Defaulted
On Their Student Loans, a
Percentage of...

Sorry, time's up.
 
SPORTS
Obama Suggests Redskins
Change Name

Unfortunately, Braves, Chiefs and Indians already taken.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Airbus Passengers Pay $9000 to Fly in Zero Gravity for a Few Minutes
Exit plane saying they feel $9000 lighter.

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