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Ironic Times

 NO. 655 “Expect the Ironic” APRIL 1 - 7, 2013 

Mar 25
Apr 8
NORTH KOREAN PHOTO
REVEALS US MAINLAND
STRIKE PLAN
Targets include Madison Square Garden, Carmen Electra's house, offices of Dennis Rodman's ex-publicist.
 
WORLD NEWS
Growing Fleet of New Warships Under Command of Various Chinese Govít Agencies Harrassing Neighbors in Disputed Waters
After Chinese Navy, second-most powerful regional force is now Beijing's sanitation department.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Statue of Liberty to Reopen July 4th After Repairs
New visitors entrance located in armpit.
U. S. NEWS
Congress Off on Two-Week
Vacation

They'll be able to kick back, relax and do absolutely nothing when they return.
GOP Balks at Official Path to Citizenship
Prefers free market solutions such as forgery, bribery, identity theft.
 
REMINDER
  Have your robotic exoskeleton serviced regularly.
 
N.C. Republican State Senator
Wants 2-Year Waiting Period
For Couples Seeking Divorce

Legislation opposed by trial lawyers, police, supported by motel owners, gun shops.
FAA Predicts 10,000 Drones
In Skies by 2020

Majority will be operated by 14-year-old boys.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Bad News: Deaths Tied to
Painkillers Rising in U.S.

Good news: you wonít feel a thing.
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