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Ironic Times

 NO. 650 “Expect the Ironic” FEB 25 - MAR 3, 2013 

Feb 18
Mar 4
POPE BENEDICT XVI GIVES FINAL BLESSING, RESIGNS
Tells cheering crowd they can still follow him on Twitter.
 
WORLD NEWS
Ailing Chavez Returns to Venezuela
Under Cover of Darkness, Enters
Local Hospital

For his regular checkup, says government spokesman.
Berlusconi Accused of Trying to Buy Votes Days Before Election
From an underage voter.
101-Year-Old Marathoner Fauja Singh Announces Retirement
Wants to take up kick boxing.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Six Tanks Now Leaking Radioactive Waste
At Hanford Nuclear Site

So far, only those living within radius of three
thousand miles in danger.
U. S. NEWS
Audit Shows Federal Reserve Gold in Manhattan All There, High Quality
Gold will now be transported to next audit site.
Mandatory Gun Insurance
Gains Favor on Both Sides

Insurance industry hails it as “a brilliant solution that should make everyone happy.”
 
REMINDER
  In case of sequestration, stay calm and wait for instructions.
 
Supreme Court to Revisit Campaign Finance Limits
Why, it will ponder, can't one person, like ExxonMobil, give as much money as it wants to a candidate.
New Sense of Urgency to Cope With Asteroids Headed Towards Earth
Scientists hastily meet to decide who will, who won't be allowed in underground bunker.
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