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Ironic Times

 NO. 642 “Expect the Ironic” DEC 31, 2012 - JAN 6, 2013 

Dec 24
Jan 7
WORLD WELCOMES IN 2013
But can't afford new fireworks.
 
WORLD NEWS
Assad's Grip on Syria
Reportedly Slipping

He has fewer followers on Twitter.
 
U. S. NEWS
Housing Sector Improves
As visiting relatives finally leave.
Outrage After Newspaper
Publishes Map Showing
Location of Gun Owners' Homes

In Hollywood, “Maps to Gun-Owning Stars' Homes” go on sale.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
World's Longest High-Speed Rail Line Opens in China
Trip that normally takes a year and a half by ox cart now just two hours by train.
(Once again our international panel of experts tells us what to expect in the next twelve months.)
Kandu, mystic (India): “A sun flare-up will wipe out all digital data on Earth, driving up the price of paper.”
Madame Blavinsky, psychic (Switzerland): “A Republican lawmaker will be caught committing the very thing he built a political career opposing, then apologize to his family and take full responsibility for his actions.”
Cassandra, seer (Canada): “A well regulated militia will force McDonald's to bring back the McRib sandwich.”
The Oracle, oracle (Delphi): “Some inane music video that makes no sense will go viral and become a major religion.”
Titan, supercomputer (Oak Ridge, TN): “Look for hemlines to rise.”
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