Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 22 - 28, 2012
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POLITICS
Romney Pays Surprise Visit to Chipotle
Scares the dickens out of employees.
 
HIGH TECH
Over 1 Billion Smartphones
Now Being Used

Research continues on their link to brain cancer.
 
SPORTS
NFL: League Mulls Narrowing
Goal Posts as Field Goal
Success Rate Nearly 88%

Other remedies: blindfolding kickers; using lead ball; English-only requirement.
 
ART
England: Damien Hirst Art Exhibit Kills 9,000 Butterflies
Artist claims they were volunteers.
FEATURE
What are Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States?
A )Countries most popular with Japanese tourists.
B )Countries reporting most UFO landings.
C )Only 3 countries in the world that don’t have mandatory paid maternity leave.
Hint: They don’t speak Japanese in Swaziland, and lots of British farmers have seen UFOs.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Ryan Visits Empty Ohio Soup Kitchen, Washes Already Washed Dishes
Takes his own photograph.

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