Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 16 - 22, 2012
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ENTERTAINMENT
Trailer for Superman: Return to Krypton Released
In it, the Man of Steel returns to his home planet, where he has no superpowers and lives life as a mild-mannered eccentric.
Study: Movies With Smoking Should Get R Rating
Unless it's associated with violence, profanity.
 
BUSINESS
LIBOR Rate-Fixing Scandal Could Bring Down Every Major Bank
Leaving nothing but itinerant money-lenders.
Poll: 25% on Wall Street Say Cheating Necessary to Get Ahead
And absolutely essential if you want to earn the respect of your peers.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Report: Global Beef Demand
Leading to Deforestation,
Global Warming

Did somebody say McDonald's?
SCIENCE
NOAA Announces Mermaids
Do Not Exist

After all-night meeting at waterfront bar.
Theory: Americas First Populated by Three Waves of Migrants From Siberia, Not One
First wave built homes, grew food; second wave ate food, built bigger homes; third wave stuffed themselves, moved to gated community.
 
British Scientist Believes Extraterrestrials Exist and They Resemble Jelly Fish
If you're stung by a jelly fish and suddenly possess the wisdom and knowledge of a god, see your doctor.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Dow Chemicalís Commonly Used Pesticide Dursban Linked to Breast Cancer, Infertility, Low Sperm Counts, Genital Deformities, Early Puberty and Diabetes
And perfectly popped popcorn.

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