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Ironic Times

 NO. 563 “Expect the Ironic” JUNE 27 - JULY 3, 2011 

Jun 20
Jul 4
OBAMA IMPERSONATOR SHAKES UP REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE
Announces he's running.
 
WORLD NEWS
Afghan Judges Invalidate One
Fourth of Its Parliament

All those who aren't relatives.
Brazilian Government Identifies
Remote, Uncontacted Tribe
In Amazon Rain Forest

Will be invited to compete on next season's “Survivor: Amazon.”
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
New York: Planners Hope to Place Swimming Pool in East River
Sweltering New Yorkers would get to splash about with what's left of guys named Lucky, Bananas and The Snitch.
U. S. NEWS
Republicans End Debt Talks with Democrats
Begin talks with Fox News.
President Says He's Withdrawing 33,000 Troops From Afghanistan
Hiring 33,000 mercenaries to replace them.
 
REMINDER
  Send your lewd photos by snail mail.
 
Report: Tritium Leaks Found
At Many Nuclear Sites

Panic unlikely, since most people have no idea what tritium is.
Texas May Ban “Intrusive Touching” at Airport Security Checkpoints
Following numerous complaints from Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
 
POLITICS
More Problems for Gingrich:
Aide Acknowledges Second
Account at Tiffany

And three more at Cartier, Harry Winston and DeBeers.
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