Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 18 - 24, 2011
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NEW PRODUCTS
Wow! Bacon-Scented Cologne!
No pigs were slaughtered in the making of this new aroma, assures the perfumer responsible, but early users of Bacon report smelling more like Liver 'n' Onions, a competing fragrance that sells for much less. $39, available at fine department stores and butcher shops.
 
STAMPS
Statue of Liberty Stamp Based on Photo of Replica in Las Vegas
Lincoln stamp based on photo of animatronic Lincoln at Disneyland.
 
 
Commodore 64 Replica With Advanced Electronics Aimed at Nostalgic Nerds
Previous try placed 1982 electronics inside a modern housing, and didn't appeal, but now you can compute at lightning speed while looking like the biggest loser in the neighborhood. $595, at Egghead and Circuit City.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Jelly Bean Resembling Kate Middleton Up for Auction on eBay
Not shown: Milk Dud resembling Prince Charles.
  FOREIGN POLICY CHALLENGE
Country:   Saudi Arabia  
Government:   Monarchy  
Oppressed groups:   Foreign workers  
How oppressed:   Passports confiscated on arrival, making them virtual slaves for the rich  
Other oppressed groups:   Women  
How oppressed:   Every way possible  
Religious freedom:   None  
What we’re doing to bring enlightened change:   $60 billion arms deal to prop up regime  

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