| PEOPLE |
 |
 Ahmadinejad
Declares Paul the
Psychic Octopus Symbol of Western
Propaganda and Superstition
After octopus predicts Iran will
have nuclear weapons in two
years. |
|
| |
| PUBLISHING |
|
Colorado Newspaper Hires
Marijuana Critic
He's chosen from among 131,000,000
applicants. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
China Passes U.S. in
Consumption of Oil
U.S. passes China in consumption of
cadmium. |
|
 GM
Rolls Out Second Electric Car
Like first one, $41,000 Chevy
Volt will be available for three
years, then destroyed. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Scientists Closing in on
Elusive "God Particle"
Just a little more funding and they'll
find it. |
|
Method Found to Gauge
Emotional
Well-Being of Pigs
Confirms nothing happier than a pig in
shit. |
|
Physicists Call for Building
Even Bigger Particle Collider
One that's too big to fail. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Kraft to Cut Salt in Products Sold in
North America by 10%
Will make up for it by increasing sugar, fat. |
|
Study: One Version of DRD4 Gene Makes
You Drink As Much as Your Companion
Another version makes you take off your
clothes and dance on the table. |
| |
| MILESTONES |
|
World's
Oldest Twitter User, 104,
Dies
Last tweet: “going
thru tunnel now, c brite
lite, what R U
doing?” |
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