| INTERNET |
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iDump4U Website Popular
With Two Constituencies
People stuck in bad relationships and
those suffering from constipation. |
|
Facebook CEO Vows to
Beef Up Security, Privacy
Apologizes for exposing 400 million
users' most intimate information to
anyone who cares to see it for as many
years as the Internet continues to exist. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Study: Today's College
Students
Lack Empathy
An unintended consequence of “No
Child Left Behind.” |
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New Computer Algorithm
Recognizes Sarcasm 80
Percent of Time
Yeah, right. |
| |
| SPORTS |
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Venus
Williams Wows Crowds at French
Open
Before being ousted in fourth round. |
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| FEATURE |
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| Which of the following is
not included in the new
directives to the
textbook standards issued
by the Texas Board of
Education? |
| A ) | Students must
learn to evaluate efforts
by global organizations
like the United Nations
to undermine U.S.
sovereignty. |
| B ) | Students must
be able to discuss
alternatives regarding
long-term entitlements
such as Social Security
and Medicare, given the
decreasing
worker-to-retiree ratio. |
| C ) | Textbooks
must emphasize the extent
and danger of Soviet
agent infiltration of the
U.S. government in the
1950’s. |
| D ) | Students must
be able to evaluate the
threat to Christian
values posed by the
aggressive intentions of
the government of Mars. |
| Hint: Never
underestimate Mars. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| In last
week's edition we reported that
"deadly tomatoes strike
Oklahoma." It should have
read "deadly
tornadoes." We apologize for
this egregious typo. |
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