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Ironic Times

 NO. 486 “Expect the Ironic” JANUARY 4 - 10, 2010 

Dec 21
Jan 11
WORLD NEWS
POPE BENEDICT XVI MOVES POPE JOHN PAUL II, PIUS XII CLOSER TO SAINTHOOD
John Paul II (left) for his open, ecumenical spirit; Pius XII (right) for his holier-than-thou attitude.
 
TRAVEL
Security Tightened, Eased,
Tightened, as Different Airlines Do and Don’t Enforce New Rules

Careful plan to frustrate, infuriate all passengers, including terrorists.
Transportation Dept. Imposes
Three-Hour Maximum for
Tarmac Delays

Will continue with two-hour minimum.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Obama “Aloha” Bobbleheads Selling Well
Each comes with copy of his birth certificate.
U. S. NEWS
Colorado Becomes First State
to Lower Minimum Wage

Hopes China will outsource jobs to Denver.
Obama Tells Spy Agencies:
Share Your Information

Or go to your rooms.
White House Readies Push for Immigration Reform
Congress prepares for another elevated debate.
 
REMINDER
  This is the week to backdate your stock options.
 
Despite Economy, Crime Falls
Due to discouraged criminals who've given up looking for crimes to commit.
 
ENVIRONMENT
World Scientists Admit Global Warming Hoax
Whole thing started at drunken frat party at MIT in 1990.
Report: Pets Have Greater Carbon Footprint Than SUVs
Problem could be eased by more SUVs running over more pets.
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