| PEOPLE |
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 Obama
Appears on Pro Wrestling Special
Promises free medical coverage
for those suffering from years of
steroid abuse. |
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| MUSIC |
|
 Newly
Discovered Mozart Pieces Have
Musicologists Excited
After transcribing them to modern
instruments and adding a rap
track they could have some value. |
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| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
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Study: We Spend More Time In
Front of Screens Than Any Other Activity
Mostly watching other people being
active. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
 Campbell's to Cut Sodium in
Spaghettios by 35%
Thus saving millions of lives. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Canadian Porn Study Canceled
When Researchers Can't Find Control Group
Who Don't Watch Porn
Turns out there's not much else to do up
there. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Teen Attitude on Harmful
Effect of Marijuana “Softening”
Experts blame facts. |
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Study: Parents Wait Too Long
to Discuss Sex With Kids
Current age of kids when sex discussed:
30, recommended age: 7. |
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| SPORTS |
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 AP
Names Tiger Woods “Athlete
of the Decade”
Formula used: Number of
Championships – Number of
Mistresses ÷ 2. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Toothpick Once Owned by
Charles Dickens Auctioned for $9,150
Just another reminder to NEVER THROW
ANYTHING OUT! |
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