Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPT 21 - 27, 2009
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MISCELLANEOUS
Ben & Jerry's Debuts “HubbyHubby” Ice Cream
Häagen-Dazs comes out with own version, “Hershey Highway.”
Study: Average Woman Can't Keep Secret Longer Than 47 Hours
Findings based on comprehensive two-day experiment.
 
TRENDS
Study: Teen Birth Rates Highest in
Most Religious States

Conclusion: Saying “Please, God, don't let me be pregnant” doesn't work.
8 Million Americans Consider
Suicide Each Year

Ask your death panel if suicide is right for you.
 
TRAVEL
Washington Hosts Values Voters Summit
Gathering of responsible, moral, family-oriented Christians “killing business,” says one merchant.
BETWEEN THE LINES
 
“Even though from a technical perspective (fuzzy math) the recession (depression) is very likely (hardly) over at this point, it’s still going to feel (hurt) like a very weak economy (depression) for some time (until early in the 22nd Century) as many people will still find that their job security (spot on the sidewalk) and their employment status (supply of tin cups) is not what they wish it was (gone).”
–– Ben Bernanke, Brookings Institution, Sept. 15, 2009
 
SPORTS
Several NFL Players to Donate Brains for Concussion Research
They'll get them back at end of season.
Group to Supreme Court: “Redskins” Demeaning to Native Americans
And they should trade for a quarterback.
Million-Dollar Scoreboard in Cowboys' Billion-Dollar Stadium Too Low
Billionaires in million-dollar boxes blame billionaire owner.

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