Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 14 - 20, 2009
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PEOPLE
Berlusconi: “I Am By Far” Best Italian Leader Ever
Shown: he takes congratulatory call from Mussolini.
La Toya Jackson Says Michael
Was “God-like”

He worked in mysterious ways.
 
BUSINESS
Heinekin Sues Maker of “Keinekin”
Keinekin sues maker of “Shmeinekin.”
Apple Introduces Smallest iPod Yet
Holds 1000 songs.
CORRECTION
 
Last week, covering the 82nd Annual World Solitaire Championships, we mistakenly ran this photograph, which was actually taken during a budget debate in the Connecticut state legislature. We apologize for the confusion.
SCIENCE
Surge in British UFO Reports Coincided With Popularity of “X-Files”
Both in Britain and on UFOs.
Neurobiologist: Brain Organized
Like City

Business district, civic center, red-light district.
 
Repaired Hubble Telescope Sends Back Startling Images
New theory: universe an infinite Jackson Pollock painting.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Burger King to Offer Double
Cheeseburger for $1

If and when Congress passes universal health care bill.
Diverse Alliance Calls for Action to Fight Sedentary Lifestyles
Urges everyone to sit down, write their representatives.

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