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Ironic Times

 NO. 464 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 3 - 9, 2009 

July 27
Aug 10
JON STEWART VOTED MOST TRUSTED MAN IN AMERICA
Ali G voted Most Trusted Man in Britain.
 
WORLD NEWS
Assistant Secretary of State
Says U.S. Would Consider
Russia Joining NATO

To strengthen military alliance against ah, against the threat from, ah.....
U.S. Forces Swiss Bank to Reveal Names of Clients
Swiss army ordered to grab knives, await deployment.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Beer Summit Yields Agreement on Race
But breaks down in bitter acrimony when conversation turns to sports.
U. S. NEWS
Economy Slightly Less Worse
Than Expected

Translation: you can come in off the ledge, but leave the window open.
Senate Committee Joins House,
Votes to End Funding for
Abstinence-Only Program

Will instead fund program imported from England that promotes daily sex.
 
REMINDER
  It's time to declare victory and go home.
 
Growing Unease on
Obama's Health Plan

Seniors fear they'll be rounded up and shot.
 
LAW
Attorney General Still Undecided About Prosecuting Bush Officials
May hold them in Guantanamo until he makes up his mind.
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