THIS WEEK IN IRONY
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Ironic Times

 NO. 452 “Expect the Ironic” MAY 11 - 17, 2009 

May 4
May 18
 
STATUE OF LIBERTY CROWN TO OPEN AGAIN ON JULY 4TH
After they kick out tired, poor, huddled masses who've been living up there.
 
WORLD NEWS
Karzai Picks Warlord Accused of Human Rights Abuses as Vice Presidential Running Mate
Calls him “my Cheney.”
Joint Chiefs Chairman: Pakistan
About to Explode in Chaos

But their nuclear weapons are perfectly safe.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Original Formula for Dr. Pepper
Discovered in Antique Store

Contained cocaine, other natural ingredients.
U. S. NEWS
Ailing Banks Need Another $75 Billion
May have to sell off some assets, like exclusive access to members of Congress.
Nation's Capital Legalizes
Same-Sex Marriage

Now secretly gay senators and congressmen who publicly oppose same-sex marriage can tie knot.
 
REMINDER
  Build a better mousetrap and the world will download it for free.
 
Administration May Send 100 Detainees to Saudi Terrorist
Rehab Center

There they'd be taught to like us by our good friends the Saudis.
Republicans Begin Huge “Rebranding” Effort
Could cost billions, take years, necessitate military coup.
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