Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 23 - 29, 2009
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PEOPLE
Bush Writing Book About His Twelve Toughest Decisions
Four of them reportedly involve golf.
Rep. Bachmann (R-MN): “We're Running Out of Rich People”
Downside of eight families owning everything finally dawns on Republicans.
 
BUSINESS
Fed to Buy $300 Billion
Long-Term Treasurys

Showing confidence in itself.
Wall Street Doled Out $18.4
Billion in Bonuses in 2008

For jobs well done.
Report: Some Bailout Money
Going to Political Donations

Lawmakers call for less transparency.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Malibu: Neighbor Files Complaint About Stench From Bob Dylan's Porta Potty
Also his decision to go electric at Newport.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Fewer Teens Sniffing Glue
Glue manufacturers “hunkering down.”
Brain's Decline Begins at Age 27
By 37 you're through.
Study: Obese Men Less Prone to Suicide
Concludes they're “jollier” than rest of us.
 
SCIENCE
Breakthrough: Common Cold Virus Genome Mapped
But still no cure.
 
TRENDS
Bad News: Recessions Make You Fatter
Good news: during recessions, men prefer heavier women.
 
FACTOID
Deficit Now $1.8 Trillion
To put that in perspective, you'd have to work 1.8 trillion years at one dollar a year to earn that much.

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