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Ironic Times

 NO. 430 “Expect the Ironic” DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2008 

Dec 1
Dec 15
  BUSH MAKES ROUNDS GIVING “EXIT INTERVIEWS”
 
  Hopes friendly televised chats favorably influence future grand jurors.
 
WORLD NEWS
Britain Considers Making
It Illegal to Pay for Sex

Anything more than dinner and a movie would be a felony.
 
HISTORY
New Nixon Tapes Reveal
Purge of All Photos of Other
Presidents from White House

Anyone caught with a picture of Martin Van Buren was fired.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
China Bans Lip-Synching After Olympics Debacle
Girl who sang (left) and girl who lip-synched (right) have been sent to re-education camps.
U. S. NEWS
Bernanke: Current Crisis Nothing Like Great Depression
Soup lines not as long, movies not as good.
Bush “Sorry” About Economy, Iraq
Also some regrets about global warming, war crimes.
Unemployment Rate Hits 6.7%
According to recently laid off statisticians.
 
REMINDER
  The only thing we have to fear is a lengthy depression and two endless wars.
 
Economists Say Country's Been in Recession Since 2007
Didn't want to screw up election by telling public sooner.
Obama Says He'll Invite Artists, Poets, Scientists to White House
Or at least remove them from terrorist list.
New Rule Permits Loaded, Concealed Weapons in Some National Parks
Sites affected: Al Capone Wildlife Refuge, Bonnie and Clyde Twin Peaks National Monument, Jimmy “The Weasel” Fratianno National Forest.
Bushes Buy Home in Dallas
At auction of foreclosed properties.
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