| PEOPLE |
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Hillary to Get Roll Call at Convention
Bill will be named Mr. Congeniality. |
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Revealed: Julia Child Was World
War II Spy
Stole top-secret recipes from the Nazis. |
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| MEDIA |
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U.S. Media Look to Neocons
for Analysis, Advice on Georgia
Because their analysis, advice was so
excellent on Iraq. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Revealed: Two-Thirds of
Corporations Don't Pay Federal Taxes
"Taxes are for little people,"
say experts. |
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Mrs. Fields Cookies Files for
Bankruptcy
Ran out of dough. |
|
 Rush Limbaugh
Receives $400 Million Contract
Could double that with prescription
drug endorsements. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Invisibility Cloak One Step
Closer
According to one or more scientists who
may or may not have been at press
conference announcing it. |
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Study: Flowers Losing Their Smell
Due to Factory Pollution
Urges construction of more perfume factories. |
| |
 New Controversy:
Shroud of Turin May Not be Jesus
Latest speculation points to Bigfoot. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Expert: Eating Rats Could Solve
World Food Crisis
Obesity crisis as well. |
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Study: Alcohol Consumption
Declines As People Age
Except in your case. |
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Maker of Viagra Promotes
Its Use by Women
If clitoral erection lasts longer than four
hours see your gynecologist. |
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