THIS WEEK IN IRONY
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Ironic Times

 NO. 412 “Expect the Ironic” AUGUST 4 - 10, 2008 

July 28
Aug 11
 
  BUSH LOSES ONLY REMAINING CONSTITUENCY
Christian evangelical infants.
 
WORLD NEWS
Good News: Faster Iraq Troop Withdrawals
Bad news: faster Afghanistan troop deployments.
First Medal Awarded at Beijing Olympics
China takes gold in Dissident Throw.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Mystery of Northern Lights Solved
They're created by hippies with a projector.
U. S. NEWS
Hoped-for Economic Rebound Fueled By Tax Rebates Fails to Materialize
Rebates spent mostly on barrels, suspenders.
Congress Goes on Vacation
Along with lobbyists, escort services.
Sen. Stevens Entitled to Speedy Trial, Presumption of Innocence
Constitution back in vogue for GOP.
 
REMINDER
  Don't consume more than 1200 carbon credits per day.
 
Homeless Population Drops By 30%
Many have become squatters in foreclosed homes.
California Bans Trans Fats
Texas offers to take them.
Revealed: Secret Justice Dept. Torture Memo
Says anyone who reveals it will be tortured.
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