Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 21 - 27, 2008
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PEOPLE
Rev. Jesse Jackson Denies Using N-Word During Break on Fox News Show
Claims he was in Hymie Town balling some spic bitch.
 
ADVERTISING
Airlines Begin Selling
Ads on Boarding Passes

Advertisers hope to profit from increasingly positive feelings about air travel.
 
BUSINESS
Freddie Mac CEO Made
$20 Million Last Year

About a nickel a mistake.
American Airlines to Cut 200 Pilots
Baggage handlers will fill in.
Congressman Wants All American Flags Made in America
By undocumented seamstresses.
SCIENCE
Study: Babies Think Like Adults
And vice versa.
Loud Bar Music Makes You
Drink More

Your Honor.
 
Gulf “Dead Zone” Will Soon Be Size of New Jersey
With similar chemical composition.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Bad News: 1/4 of Americans Obese
Good news: they can't afford to buy food.
Dept. of Health Human Services Directive Defines Contraception as Abortion
And onanism as mass murder.
 
CORRECTION
 
Our headline, “1 Million Now on Terror Watch List” was misleading, due to aliases included on the list. The actual number of people the government is actively watching is only 400,000. We apologize for the mistake.

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